I enjoy learning.  I enjoy college.  I really enjoy my pathophysiology class.  It’s interesting to learn the etiology of so many diseases.  I find it absolutely fascinating.  The first week of classes, we had to do a discussion post on the etiology of any disease.  I had chosen to write about cardiovascular disease.  It was difficult, but I pulled through without too many tears.

Today, I logged on to double check what the discussion topic was for the week.

Cardiovascular disease.  Again.

Only this time, I have to read the entire class’s words on the disease knowing that more than likely no one has lost someone close due to the disease.  Their words are impartial.  Scientific.  Strictly business.

My words are the same.  Strictly scientific.  If you didn’t know me personally, know my story, you would have no idea that cardiovascular disease is a difficult topic for me, that it’s now a deeply ingrained scar that divides my life into two.

I don’t want to read their impartial words.  I don’t want to pretend that it’s all science for me this week, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.

It is personal.  It’s my personal tragedy.  It’s my personal devastation.

So very personal.


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