Questions

Occasionally, I can’t help but to stop and imagine how my life would’ve been if I’d met someone else at the time I’d met my soon-to-be-ex (henceforth known as STBX). If I’d gone back to college earlier, gotten the career I love now, and met someone else.

Would I have been married to a medical professional? Someone who shares the same passions for the intellectual side of life? Someone who is as motivated as I am to make a difference? Would I have ever had children or would I have been too busy focusing on my career to slow down and make time for a family? Would I have stayed in the same midwestern state my whole life? Would I have traveled the world? Would I have ever lived in London or New York City or some other large city?

I think the biggest questions I always come up with are: Would I have been happy? Could I have avoided all of this heartache and sorrow?

And the final question: Could I have ever lived my life without my beautiful children?

That question always stops me in my tracks. No matter the heartache, the pain, the devastation, and sorrow I have endured over these past five years, I would do it all over again because STBX gave me those beautiful girls. They are everything. They make the questions fade away. I look at them and I know I did it all right. Even though I’m coming out the other side, damaged and broken, I know that they are worth it.

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